Emy: Good afternoon, and welcome to the first special episode of Splintered Sun: The Interviews. I’m your hostess, Emy, and I’ll be asking the questions you want to know!
Emy: Our guest this time is Gabriel Nesaren, born Lucas Edward Carter. He is the founder of the Splintered Sun legacy and, as such, it is his duty to be the first to submit to your questions. Gabe, you look particularly well dressed today. It suits you.
Emy: Say hello to our readers! :)
Gabe: Um, hi… nice to meet you?
Emy: We thought we’d bring the interview outside today, since you’re much more relaxed when you’re surrounded by plants. Do you like our flower garden?
Gabe: It – it’s beautiful. Thank you.
Emy: I hope it helps put you at ease a bit, rather than us sitting in the glaring lights of the studio.
Emy: So, Gabe, first thing’s first. Several of our readers have professed their love for you. What would your response be to that?
Gabe: Er… I – I um… I don’t know… I haven’t met these people! D: And I love Susie! D: But, um… thank you, I suppose? I’m flattered.
Emy: Okay, let’s begin before your head swells too much. Before we go any further, Toast!! wants to know: You are still alive, right, Gabe? RIGHT? ><
Gabe: Why wouldn’t I be!? D:
Emy: Well, now that’s out of the way… Morgan would like to know: If you- when you survive and get all better are you going to get rid of your oven?
Gabe: What am I surviving?! D:
Emy: Never mind that, just answer the question for us. :)
Gabe: Oh, okay. Well… no, is the answer to that. Mrs Moss is quite clear we need an oven in the house, and I think Susie agrees.
Emy: Speaking of the oven, a few readers worried about your early diet.
Jedidiah wants to know: How in Earth did you survive on Autumn Salad all those years? You never gotten tired of it?
And phoebe91 agrees! She says: Why did you choose autumn salad to live on? Why not cereal and bread? Or fruit parfait? Or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!?
Gabe: B-but… I like salad! D: If I have to give reasons, well… salad is cheap. I know, I know, the other food you mention is cheap too, but once I started growing my own stuff, I barely had to buy any food! Also, I really do like salad. It’s my favourite food. :c
Emy: Moving on from the subject of your eating, Gabriel… let’s explore the subject of your past. Look, I’ll even hug you whilst we talk about it if that helps.
Gabe: I’d rather we didn’t talk about it.
Emy: Unfortunately, as our founder and debut interviewee, you don’t get much of a choice about that. Besides, we got sent in a lot of questions about that very subject.
First, your family.
Dreamy Underwood would like to know: Gabe, how do you think your life would be different if you had a stable family home?
phoebe91 has similar concerns. She asks: Do you think you would have had a better life if some of the things that happened in your childhood didn’t happen?
Gabe: Do you mean, would my life be different or better if my mother hadn’t walked out and my father had stayed alive for me? Well, it would certainly be different, I suppose. I wouldn’t have come to Riverview, for one. Or maybe I would have. Maybe I’d have just run away from home instead. I’m not sure my life would have been better if none of that had happened. My mother would still have resented me for ruining her acting career and she’d have been miserable, which would have made my father miserable, and I would have been miserable too.
Besides, if things hadn’t happened the way they did, would I have met Susie? I don’t think so. I mean, everything in my life was worth it for that first moment I laid eyes on her. I’d do it all again.
Emy: As romantic as that sentiment is, there’s no doubt that you committed murder in Bridgeport. thecreativeblock wants to know: What was on your mind when you pushed James?
Gabe: Anger. Fear. Hatred. In that moment, I really wasn’t thinking a hell of a lot. In the moments after I pushed him? You can’t imagine the feeling. The twisting in your stomach. The ice creeping into your heart. That never truly goes away. So… whilst I wasn’t thinking when I pushed him, I did a hell of a lot of thinking after. I look at my hands and see his blood.
Singer14 is interested in your feelings for James Frank: Gabe, schnookums, what about James Frank made you come to love him so much? I mean, he was a nasty jerk who was gonna sell your butt to the highest bidder? What made you so devoted to him
Gabe: He wasn’t awful, I mean… it could have been worse. Look at Jamie. I mean, look… he wasn’t bad in the beginning. He was charming, sexy and just… he gave me love, or I thought he did. I was starving for it. I just… I wanted to be loved, and he came along and offered me love, and safety and… and… well, yeah. I loved him, even at the end. I can even still remember the way he tasted when we kissed.Despite all that he did, there was a part of me – a stupid, stupid part – that thought that one day we could be happy.
Emy: thecreativeblock also wants to know more about that period in your life: How did you feel about your half siblings possibly being exposed to your mom’s husband’s “parties”?
Gabe: Sick. :c To be honest, I never really thought about it. I thought, ’cause they’re his kids, they’d be safe, you know? But now… I wonder.
Emy: Did you hear about the Piper-Moss Foundation and how the ‘parties’ got stopped? catcrunchies was determined those boys you met would have a happily ever after.
Gabe: Really? That’s… that’s great. I hadn’t heard of that until now, but I’m glad Dace and the others are okay now. It’s some kind of a shelter? That’s brilliant. I wish it hadn’t been too late for me.
Emy: Phoebe91 wants to know: Do you ever want to meet your half siblings?
Gabe: No. No, I don’t. Sometimes, I mean, I wish I had. I wish I knew them. But no, I don’t want to. There’s too many painful memories there that I don’t want to explore. And I don’t want them to get hurt, either, as I don’t think they even know I exist.
Emy: Moving on from your past now, we go to the subject of Jamie. Jamie was a very important part of your story, Gabriel, and the relationship between the two of you touched a lot of readers.
Rainie92 asks: How did you feel about finding out that Jamie’s past was very much like your own? You must be very proud with how far he has gone in life.
Gabe: There aren’t words to describe how proud I am of Jamie. He’s a stronger man than I’ll ever be, to come out of what he’s been through as well-adjusted as he has. In some ways, I believe that Jamie was sent to me to remind me just how much worse it could have been for me, and every day I wish that I could cope as well as he does. He’s my inspiration.
Emy: Your time in Limbo must have been a very strange experience for you. It was weird enough to read about.
Jedidiah asks: What was it like to stand face to face with Jamie’s brother Arthur?
Gabe: What was it like? That’s a hard question to answer. I mean, it was all happening inside my head, right? Right? I don’t know. It hurt. It hurt that I got to see him and talk to him and Jamie couldn’t. But he said the things I needed to hear to keep on living, so I’m grateful I got to talk to him too.
Emy: Now, onto your marriage to Susannah. :)
Dreamy Underwood would like to know: Did Mr. Moss ever make you think about not marrying Susie or was he too scary to leave Susie?
Gabe: Never. Mr Moss was -is- terrifying, but… he could never make me not want to marry Susie. As for the second bit, well… yes. But he’s a father. He does what he needs to do to protect his children.
Emy: Jedidiah says: I don’t need to tell you I was pretty disappointed on hearing what you did with K… But let’s move on. Congratulations on becoming a father. How does it feel being married?
Gabe: Aw, I knew someone would bring that up… Look, I hate myself for what I did that night, but I wasn’t thinking. As much as I hate to admit it, I wouldn’t take it back. If I hadn’t ended up in Kami’s bed, I would have ended up as just another faceless corpse in the river. So, as much as I hate myself, as much as I wish I’d been a better person… it happened, and I’m alive, and Susie forgave me. That’s all.
Emy: Gabriel, answer the question.
Gabe: Oh, right… I mean, being married to Susie is the best thing in the world. She’s an amazing woman and I’m so lucky to have her – hell, I know I don’t deserve her. But… she makes me feel safe. If I’m pathetic for admitting that, so be it. She is my sunshine in this otherwise dark world.
Emy: Speaking of Kami, Singer14 would like to know: Do you ever think about Kami sometimes? Has she tried to contact you?
Gabe: What? No, I… Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about her sometimes. She was one of my best friends, you know? One of the only friends I’ve ever had. I wonder sometimes how she’s doing, but she’s never tried to contact me and I’ve never tried to contact her. I think it’s for the best.
Emy: What about your children?
Spongey would like to know: How did you feel the first time you held your first child? What was going through your head?
And Dreamy Underwood asks: How worried were you with the enormity of becoming a father?
Gabe: Becoming a father was the most terrifying in the world. I was so scared that I would fail my children the way my own father failed me, I forgot to be excited and to enjoy the pregnancies. I still worry. Every day I wake up and I wait for my children to hate me. I don’t know how I can possibly be the father they deserve, but I’m trying my hardest.
As for how it felt when I held Farrow for the first time? Indescribable. I mean, I was scared I’d drop him or something, but when the nurse gave him to me… I just felt this rush of love and I knew I’d do anything to keep him safe and happy. Anything.
Emy: Both orangeplumbob and Melanie Baker would like to know what your happiest, fondest memory is?
Gabe: Well… this is rather cliché, but… the day Susie accepted my proposal.
Toast!! would like to know: Gabe, my dearest love, what do you consider the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Gabe: I… don’t think I have any. Well, actually… I think my greatest accomplishment was surviving. There were a lot of moments where I thought about just giving up, but… I didn’t. I haven’t. Not yet.
I guess saving Jamie’s life was an accomplishment too, but that was more a fluke than anything else.
Emy: Toast!! would also like to know: What was the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to do?
Gabe: Tell the truth, on several occasions. I’m pretty sure you can guess which occasions I’m talking about.
Emy: Melanie Baker would like to know: The worst fear you ever had to overcome?
Gabe: Life, and everything that comes with it. I could have chosen to die in Limbo. I wanted to. I was so scared to go back to the real world and face the consequences of, well, everything. But I chose life, though at first I thought I’d made the wrong choice.
Emy: And Melanie Baker would also like to know: What is a lesson you‘ll never forget?
Gabe: It is better to tell the truth than live alone with your guilt. Even if the truth hurts.
Emy: Let’s end on a more positive and light-hearted note. :)
Toast!! would like to know: Can I get some more cookies for Jamie?
Gabe: Jamie would always welcome more cookies, so yes! Though… do I get some cookies? :c
Emy: I’ll get you some in a bit. And finally, Singer14 wants to know: If you weren’t married to Susie or Kami, would you marry me? ;)
Gabe: Uhh… sure? I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know you, but I’m sure you’re perfectly nice and if I hadn’t married Susie then maybe I’d have met you and we’d have been happy, but I did meet Susise and… my head hurts.
Emy: That’s it for the first character interview. :) I hope you enjoyed this insight into the mind of the founder of Splintered Sun!